Saturday, March 24, 2007
in love there is no consort with doubt
as quickly as it all began, it was over...whammm, a hurricane blows through your life leaving behind a trail of devastation. that and a question to the universe, how? and why? a new year beginning in ecstacy and immediately after falling into a feverish state of delirium. waking in the night to sweat-drenched sheets and open sores, seven days in purgatory lying on her sofa, alone with your thoughts. and that, that is the downfall of many a man: "are you sure?" "are you REALLY sure?" synapses going into overdrive as you realize that somewhere someone's despair is balancing out your joy.
for in love there is no consort with doubt. when it gets a foot in the door, it kicks its way into the room. and there you are, intuition laid bare, sliced open and left to bleed out by a moment of questioning. in its wake trust dissolves, connections disconnect, and you are tossed out and back into the world of samsara...and after you hang on as long as you can, but...only now just past the sleepless nights, the turmoil, the chemically induced numbness, left to sort out, to reflect and (maybe) begin again. yet you still find gratitude and blessing, for experience, for failure, for each step along the way, for the brevity of perfection, together spinning on the great wheel of the all.